Being a single parent is indeed one of the most strenuous jobs in society, one that comes with great responsibility and has no fixed schedule, payment, and retirement. The idea of being a single parent and fulfilling the role of parenting is indeed challenging, especially when the family is lead by a woman. It means twice the work, doubling the efforts, and that also doubles the amount of stress you have to face. You may not believe it, but one can find every profession in a single mother. They serve not only as your parent but also as a friend, teacher, doctor, a cook, a protector, and so much more. Parenting is a task that two people usually share, by a husband and a wife‒ but unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to find someone who will stay with them through thick and thin. There’s nothing single about being a single parent when everything will pile up for you.
Most single mothers said that their major stressor is regarding finances, but there are many problems linked to their plates. It even includes the emotional difficulties and phases they have to deal with most of the time. You may have seen a few single mother’s profiles on dating apps and sites, and you’re also probably wondering why they’re even there in the first place. Since many single mothers are struggling with different emotional and even psychological issues, it is alright for them to find even the slightest way of escapism with their stress and problems.
According to a study that used a snowballing sampling technique, almost every single mother reported that they felt lonely, helpless, and hopeless. Some felt lacking in a part of their identity because there is no denying that being a single mother comes with multiple sets of emotional challenges that can sometimes feel overwhelming to handle alone. They lost the sense of independence and being carefree already. All parents indeed lose an inevitable part of their independence when they step into the parenting stage. Long gone are the days where one can stay out late drinking until 3 am. Parents start to think that their lives aren’t just “theirs” anymore. They have their kids waiting for them every day at home, and every time they want to do or buy something, they’ll always have to consider the kids and the children’s well-being.
And being a single parent makes it twice harder to move on your own, it’ll be hard to find someone new, to pamper yourself and such, and that’s one of the reasons why single moms lurk at dating apps and sites. They hope for communication that won’t take much of their time, they also hope for a love that accepts, understands, or even someone to talk to or relate to their struggles. They want someone to talk to, and they also want someone who can give them their old spark back. Single mothers are hoping to find a partner who can support their decisions and tell them that it’s alright to feel things, someone who can reassure them and make them feel secured, or someone that is worthy of their love again.
Since most single moms have no one to tag in, their self-doubt doubles too. It’s often problematic for them to know if they are doing an excellent job in parenting or not because they’ll always see the changes in being single and in a relationship, and most of the time, it can make them feel lonely. It sometimes makes them lose sense of themselves. The pressure on their plates every single day, the expectation of people around every single woman makes it harder for them to breathe. After a long period of work, you go home and take care of the chores and your kid. The mommy duty never stops, making it easier for one to forget to take care of themselves or even eat on time.
But despite their emotional problem and their hopes of searching for genuine and stable love‒ loving single mothers can be the best too. You might even be wondering how it’ll be different from dating a woman without children, and it’s not that different as long as you treat her right, the relationship will be golden and thriving.
You have to understand her and her priorities. It is essential to know that the kids come first, always! A romantic partner can serve an integral part in a woman’s life, but there will be no competition between you and the child because she and the children come as a pack and a team. The children’s well-being is the top priority because their feelings and opinions carry weight to everything. You have to understand scheduling too. Single mothers are pros at juggling multiple events all at once, they are mentally strong, and one can’t shake them off, not even once. They juggle work, household, their time for themselves and the kids too. You have to understand that they may not be spontaneous every single time in a way that you like, so you have to exercise your patience. Flexibility and understanding then become extremely important.
Also, don’t feel pressured to jump in immediately as a father figure or a second parent. Some single mothers aren’t looking for a father figure for their child. They’ve been filling that part already, and some only want a partner to love and settle down. It’s a big bonus to love her kids, too, of course. But instead of thinking of becoming a step-parent too quickly, it’s most important to work on your relationship with them first before anything else. Relationship-building is a natural process. Single moms also want to know upfront what you’re looking for in a relationship, be straightforward about what you really want. It is important to respect her and her children. Although there is no specific schedule, it is better to work your way slowly and stably to go smoother and establish a clean and genuine slate with each other.
