Some things can linger on a person even when they’re old; it’s the same as saying that old habits die hard. When we’re young, and amid our blooming days, we tend to enjoy and live our life to the fullest. We tend to party out, talk, drink, laugh, and flirt as if it’s the last days of our lives.
And usually, those habits simmer down after seeing the other side of the fence as an adult. But what if you decided to settle down, but the patterns stayed? What would you do if you’re already a paid adult with a spouse that’s still a little flirty? What if your wife still flirts in front of you?
Now, of course, if your wife flirts in front of you? That will make everyone feel uncomfortable, and that’s where you should directly address the issue. Here are some possibilities and tips on what you should do if it happens.
Your wife flirts with you in front of other people.
Flirting as a married couple isn’t harmful; it does strengthen your connection most of the time. It keeps the married life spicy with passion and fiery love. But if you’re flirting in an uncomfortable, public display manner?
That’s a case where you should tell her not to. Especially if it’s the intense way of flirting in front of others, consider that not everyone is comfortable seeing couples flirting in front of them. To some, it’s inappropriate and disrespectful because not everyone enjoys seeing something a couple would do live.
There are some things that you two should keep behind closed doors, and sometimes they should remain there. Especially when there are singles or minors, they’ll feel pretty awkward knowing the situation at hand.
My wife flirts with other guys in front of me.
Flirting is something that we do, be it married or not. As long as you do it with respect and consent, there’s nothing wrong with it. But if one of the flirting people is in a committed relationship, especially when they’re already married?
Now, this is already a different case to look into. When your wife flirts with other guys in front of you, the amount of discomfort you will feel will be intense. And in times like this, addressing the issue would be better. Otherwise, you will feel resentment and regret on the run of your relationship.
Although flirting is innate in a human, it’s essential to understand the difference between being flirty and friendly. Sometimes, people do throw a few charms without them realizing it. But it’s also not harmful to take things from a mature perspective because being playful can also lead to infidelity.
Know the difference between friendliness and flirtiness.
In retrospect, flirting is different from being friendly, and the main difference is the relationship of those involved. Flirting takes place when they have emotional and sexual attraction for each other. Whereas being friendly goes the other way where they don’t feel mutual in terms of appeal. Misreading the thin line that separates it can give you awkwardness and worries at night.
Here’s how you can define if your wife is flirting. Here’s what you could try to do.
Make sure she’s flirting.
Some people are just friendly and extroverted than you are. Men tend to take women’s friendliness by mistake as flirtatious behavior. So if she’s used to being outgoing and talkative- that may be who she is.
Don’t just go around thinking and accusing her of doing something she’s not even doing. Conclusions built with no concrete proof can lead to a vast misunderstanding. Some actions can easily be considered harmless and just for fun, nothing more.
Ask other people if they notice her behavior.
You may be overthinking some aspects she shows that are never there in the first place. Asking other people that you know wouldn’t hurt. One way to be sure if she’s flirting with others is to ask others if they see any flirtatious behaviors from her. Or ask them some things she does that they think are flirtatious; you can analyze things from there.
Tell her what you see and what you feel.
The best way to settle things immediately before you build any conclusion that may be negative? It’s to talk to her directly about what you see and what you feel. You can approach her and ask her calmly about the behaviors you noticed.
Then, you can proceed to ask her why she acts the way she does with other men in front of you. Sometimes, she may not realize that she’s doing it, or it’s just you overthinking things. If she doesn’t consider it is flirting and it still makes you feel uncomfortable, you can ask to compromise about something.
You can politely ask her not to do it in front of others. Also, try not to look at it in a lousy light immediately. She may be good at carrying herself in front of other people, and maybe she likes being confident.
Don’t just blame her; try to analyze your behavior as well. Remember what you did for her to act in such a way if she confirmed it as flirting. If it’s not that way, try to acknowledge how your accusations made her feel too. Tell her how bothered you are, and from there, you might have conversations about boundaries and limits.
If things get out of hand, don’t attempt to get back at what she showed you. Things such as that can make the tension between the two of you even worse. Examine your relationship honestly and try your best to determine things without being biased. Try to make her feel validated and loved, and make sure to spend time with each other to fix things properly.
Honesty and application of what you talked about can quickly fix whatever the dent in your relationship is. You two can come up with a solution, and you can both agree to compromise for your relationship’s sake.