Taking it slow is easier said than done, especially when you’ve become infatuated with someone. Kissing a ton of frogs might lead you to jump into the arms of your next suitor. However, you shouldn’t be so quick to make a move simply because you’re tired of the dating life. Learn how to fall in love slowly, and you’ll be both happy and safe 😉
It might seem redundant to take your time when meeting someone new, but it’s crucial to build a foundation before embarking on a new relationship. Here are 6 tips that will help you to slow down when it comes to dating so that you don’t end up making a mistake that you might regret.
How To Fall In Love Slowly
#1) Speak Your Mind
If your date doesn’t have attributes that you are looking for, there’s nothing wrong with speaking up. However, if you meet what you assume to be the one, and you want to take it slow, then say so.
If you arm yourself with taking it slow now, then you won’t surprise your date with the “we need to slow” down argument later. Tell your partner why you would like to slow down also. It could be that you don’t want to screw things up by jumping into them too fast.
#2) Be Honest But Hold Back
It’s one thing to tell your date about your life, such as where you grew up, your hobbies, what you love, etc. but refrain from airing out your dirty laundry head-on. If you grew up with a dysfunctional family or you have a child from a previous divorce, don’t mention these on the first date. However, if you feel like the relationship might be going somewhere, then you can bring up more serious topics at least by the third or fourth date.
Try not to talk about baggage subjects such as your last relationship and your finances. Trust me, there will be a time and place for that. Talking about it on the first date will not only make it awkward but will probably land you in the no callback zone.
#3) Use Self-Control
The two of you may be into the same things, but that doesn’t mean you should call or text him all the time. You may have had a blast, but by making him sweat a little, he will think that you have other things to do, thus making you more attractive and interesting.
It’s also important to save some things for the next date, that way you’ll have something to talk about. Sharing every piece of information now might lead to a dud later on.
#4) Avoid Talking About the Future
Sure, it’s OK, to talk about your dreams in terms of career goals. Maybe your goal is to one day open up a restaurant- those kinds of talks about the future are OK. However, it’s not OK to talk about future plans regarding marriage, living together or having kids. You hardly know this person and you’re already picking out wedding dresses.
Rarely does the first date hit it off where the couples get married weeks later. Not saying it can’t happen, it’s just rare. You may not be into Italian cuisine but that doesn’t mean that you should fly off to Paris right away. Wedding plans should not be talked about either until both of you are on the same page in terms of marriage.
#5) Don’t say “I Love You” Yet
Love at first sight is subjective. You might even feel it in your heart after the first date. Try to hold off on saying the “L” word until both of you are sure about your feelings.
If you know you’d be crushed if your partner didn’t love you back, don’t say it until you know for sure that he is head over heels for you. Your partner might not even be in the same zone as you, in which case, hold off until the feelings are mutual and you’ve built up the confidence to say so.
#6) Date Yourself
Keep living your life and doing what you do. Good things do come to those who wait, but waiting around for him is like watching paint dry. Besides, a good man finds an independent, confident woman attractive.
Later on, you might inform your partner about your daily schedule, but until then, nurture yourself, your family and your friends. In other words, love yourself first and everything else will fall into place.
You might feel fed up with dating, but good things await. It might not come tomorrow or next month, but it will eventually happen if you stick it out. It’s better to wait for the right one than to jump on board with someone who turns out not be right for you later. Check out this book about The Art Of Falling In love.
What are some suggestions that you can offer in terms of waiting for the right one? Do you think that it’s better to make things happen in romance or to go with the flow? Please tell us your opinions in the comments below!