As some may say, there are inclusions from one’s partner that do not click to the other in marriage. It could be something small such as habits that one does not like; although this can be easily compromised, other things or even people may make things harder. It could be an annoying relative-in-law or a partner’s friend that you do not get along with. And from all those possible packages that would be hard to deal with? The hardest one to deal with is your parents-in-law.
Having a conflict with in-laws would be much worse when you, your partner, and their parents are under the same roof. Because with that situation? The worst-case scenario would be continuous arguments, resulting in your partner getting stuck in a tight situation.
To keep the peace within the house that you are sharing, you can do some actions for this particular setup to work.
First, it is vital to set respectful boundaries.
These are needed for everyone to know which lines they should or shouldn’t cross to avoid more arguments. In line with setting boundaries, being assertive is also required for your in-laws. It’s for them to know that you are still a person with a firm stand even after tying vows with their child. You can give respect and give limitations regardless of them being your partner’s parents.
Compromising and letting respect being present all the time is creating good contact with your in-laws.
Having to adjust is normal when you are having people living with you under a single roof. But then again, with boundaries placed, it will be unnecessary to make sacrifices as it would be too much for you without assurance if they would do the same for you.
Knowing your place and your worth should be there with you.
Respect is a give-and-take thing, and it is for someone who deserves it. Being the bigger person is indeed the right thing to do. Still, if your in-laws are not willing to respect and compromise with you, it would be the right time to give a different approach.
If things get out of hand, you should remind yourself of two things. One is never to seek approval. The second is never to push yourself too hard to impress your in-laws. Seeking support and getting a great impression from your in-laws will not get them to like you.
It will only make them think how fake your actions are and end up with all those efforts going to waste. Never lessen your self-worth to gain other people’s approval because you are still you, and if some people cannot appreciate that, there would be other people to see that, and so should you.
If these small arguments turn into a fight, it is essential not to give the first blow, you should not start fires that may hurt you or your spouse, so you still need to be careful. Here is where being the bigger person comes into the picture. Starting fights and making small arguments bigger would make things more complicated than what it was.
It would be very hard, not just for you but also for your significant other since the last thing they want is for their two loved ones to fight. So when it gets to a point where fights are starting to appear constantly, learn to let go. It is not to show that you are weak or in defeat, but this shows the other end that a mature person can do and avoid an ensuing fight from the first one. That would create a stressful conflict, not just for your spouse but for you as well.
Still, if your parents-in-law still make things hard for you that you can not stand them anymore, thinking that it would be better to move away from them, now is the time for you to have a serious conversation with your spouse. This is the right way to deal with them without creating actions that would cause severe damage to your marriage.
It would be best if you address things in a way that will not be insensitive or too sensitive. Some people are close to their parents and some who can not deal with their parent. Assuming that you know your partner well, you should use the right approach to avoid creating a conflict with them.
It is right to let your partner know what is going on so that both of you can talk about what actions should take place because, after all, it is still their parent. That is why they can take action and compromise as someone in between the situation. With that, there would be unwanted results, such as your partner having a conflict with their parents or your in-laws hating you more.
Before deciding, such as talking to your partner, it is better to prepare yourself for what may happen after trying to call things out. It might turn into something dramatic such as having a big fight with your spouse or, worse, a separation. But still, after considering others’ feelings, check on yourself too. If things are taking a negative effect on you already, it’s better to remove yourself. The important thing is that you did your part in calling out wrong things and avoiding things that can hurt you more.
Doing these actions will assure you that the only thing you have in mind is to fix this connection, not just for yourself but also for the people you love. Don’t be afraid to take risks to make good changes for yourself and others because, in the end, having an excellent environment to live in is something that people should do for their good.
It is better to find solutions that would benefit both parties and won’t favor just one. It’s necessary to address and raise awareness for the issues so it would not boil further. Because in that way, both sides can better understand what they should do for fixing.