How Many Dates Should it Take Before a Second Base?

Are you dating somebody, or perhaps you’re in a new relationship? Have you ever wondered what people meant by “base” outside a baseball context, but instead, the base that’s more leaning towards the relationship matters? There are four bases in a relationship context, and everything differs from one another. Although the analogy and relation of the word in real life are uncertain, it made significant remarks throughout the years on its definition alone, so let’s do a simple breakdown for them first.

aerial photography of baseball stadium

First Base:

This base is probably the most basic way to start your physical intimacy journey with your significant other‒ in other words, this is your starting point, and it’s the kissing stage. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not “just” the kissing stage. It’s not just the lip touching or lip pecking type, it encompasses that stage, and in general terms, it’s a boosted start because it’s a more meaningful kiss when you begin. It includes the open-mouthed kiss such as french kissing or what other people love to call making out.

A man and woman cuddling together in bed.

Second Base:

Just like how things go for every video game, we get a little more severe as we progress on each level‒ at second base, it starts to involve a little more skinship and physical contact. It includes touching around the waist and areas such as the chest where it could be touched and caressed, significantly below clothing.

Third Base:

The third base involves intense intimacy, and it’s where you go below the waist level and enter a new territory in that way. It includes touching or even the oral stimulation of the genitals, and this leads us to the final stop of our base‒ which is attached to the term “home base” or the fourth and final base, attached to the third one. The home base generally means sexual intercourse, and every base acts as a euphemism for sensual activities.

And with that, we can now answer a few generally asked questions for new relationships and any romantic connections, such as “how many dates does it take before going to second base?” 

Now, let’s not forget that things don’t always work with time. Most of the time, connections, bonds, and relationships are the key factors that should be established first in general before anything else. Because knowing a person for an extended amount of time can mean nothing if you don’t have a personal connection or even the slightest bond to share with someone. Most of the time, having a solid foundation of trust and affection with a person can mean a thousand times more even though you only knew each other for about a few months or so. Going into other dating and relationship activities doesn’t have anything to do with a specific time, date, or even schedules to make things more transparent‒ it doesn’t have to do anything with a specified timestamp or timetable. It boils down to how advance and stable your relationship are with a particular person.

It has something to do with the advancement of your feelings for and towards your significant other. If you’re comfortable and confident with the thought of doing intimate things rather than the usual skinship of holding hands and hugging, that may be a go sign for you. Some people have known each other for a couple of years, but they still wouldn’t dare to engage in a deeper aspect of physical contact, and some people just met and clicked in an instant where they’re comfortable doing things to and with each other.

person wearing Apple watch

Dates are a stage where you try to test the currents and the temperatures of the water. Supposing both parties are fine, and if both managed to give out their consent before doing and engaging in any activities, that means it’s a good step and sign to begin. Since some prefer to wait until marriage before going into physical interaction, and some are willing to do activities after a couple of dates due to the solid sensual tension‒ that’s perfectly alright!

There’s no right or wrong answer when you’re alright with doing things and if you feel like what you’re about to do is right for you. If both of you wanted to go to a specific base after one or two dates, go ahead‒ it’s your call in the end, and no one should judge you for it. To summarize the statements, it’s not always worth asking how many dates you should take before diving into different stages and sections in your relationship.

It’s not about the time frame, how many weeks or months should pass before doing something‒ it’s always the foundation you build and set that can bind you with another person, as well as your overall preference and choices. To make it easier to remember, let’s settle it like this. If things make you feel uncomfortable, call the other party out and tell them that you think the situation is escalating way faster than you expected and that it’s better to slow things down.

Some will be ready for a full-on make-out session on their first date, and if you’re conservative or shy, it might take longer. If the other party cares for you, they will consider your side of the coin and agree to whatever you guys talk about, such as pacing for an instant. Just remember that it’s also important to talk things out first in a crucial and understanding manner before jumping into reckless decisions that one may regret in the end.

Don’t forget to stay transparent, and as much as possible, stay on the same page with each other for clear communication. In that way, you’ll have a better chance of starting activities with each other on a clean slate with no misunderstandings. Because as daunting as it can be to discuss your personal matters and relationship issues in one sitting these days, it’s important to state your side as you communicate and understand each other’s thoughts, feelings, sentiments, and wishes correctly.