In this generation, going out with a stranger can be an easy task. But committing to a long-term or a serious relationship is a different bone to pick. That’s why identifying if a person is into you or not could be difficult from time to time━ but, despite that, we still crave love, affection, and attention; and that’s why we still choose to date.
But how does the date work? Dating can be a complex business for anyone. Even if you’re introverted or well-trained in socializing with different types of people, there are still plenty of ways to fail flat on your first date. So how does one plan a perfect date from the entrance down to a goodbye kiss?
You have to set and understand yourself.
Analyzing and understanding oneself is a vital ingredient to know before going on a date. Why? Because it determines the type of individuals you want to associate yourself with, try asking yourself, “what am I looking for?” Do you prefer casual dating? Or are you going for a long and serious relationship?
If you already found an answer to it, then that’s something to cross out your list of worries now. Say you want to try casual dating, for starters. Although it may seem to be a “no-strings-attached” kick-start for experiencing new connections, it’s not that simple.
Although it seems like it’s all fun and games? It can be tricky and complicated if you don’t have a clear idea or understanding of your preferences. Or even the reason as to why you’re dating casually or seriously.
Casual Dating & Serious Dating:
In casual dating, we often think that it’s a “no-feelings-unless-stated.” version type for a setup, but the thing is? The line that separates the casual to serious in dating terms is always smudged and blurred. For instance, you’re already kissing and cuddling, but there’s no label for your relationship.
And another one is that you’re already comfortable with each other. Still, your partner doesn’t want you to meet their friends or family. Casual dating is often non-exclusive unless both of you discussed it. In a simpler term, it’s the situations that lack relationship labels seeking fun and no commitment.
While serious dating means you’re expecting for a long run, people who date seriously are more lenient to strong emotional attachments. It also contains the labels of being “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” with firm commitment and discussions of your future together.
Okay, but then how do we date? Where do we start, and how do we end the day ideally?
Find yourself a partner.
After you conclude whether you want to casually date or get serious about it, you must search for your potential partner. A reasonable person to date doesn’t fall off from trees. You can try online dating first and proceed to ask if they’re willing to date.
Dating is like solving math problems. One must go through the pain of multiple trials and errors before knowing and getting the answer perfectly. It requires time, effort, and energy, and sometimes it costs money for coffees.
Plan and focus on your date.
Now that you have a partner to go out with, arrange and plan out your date. You can also ask your partner for suggestions, ask them what they like to eat, what ambiance of place they prefer, and prepare for it. Remember to just be yourself on the time of the date, arrive early, and make sure to pay attention to your partner while they’re talking.
In that way, you can take mental notes whether you have similarities or if the other party has terrible habits and signs that you dislike. How does the conversation make you feel? Do they do things that turn you off? If yes, don’t be afraid, to be honest, and if you’re hoping for another date with the person, shoot your shot at it.
If both parties are on the same page feelings-wise, it has a better chance of running smoothly. However, it’s still essential to maintain the course of your starting connection. One wrong move can easily wreck the bond you both started to build.
If you’re continuing the dating phase, make sure to add varieties to it. Change it up from time to time and explore new things together to not be boring. Be transparent and show them you’re interested in listening and seeing them every time.
You can also act warm when both of you reached the point where you’re comfortable hanging around with each other. Remember to not bombard your date with offensive questions, and never force your date to do something out of their own will. Keep regular contact with them; fewer conversations might send them wrong ideas that you’re uninterested in, while over texting can make them feel stuffy.
Listen to them effectively and learn the things about them, don’t forget to make them feel appreciated when you’re together. Also, expect that something might go awkward from time to time since both of you are just starting to get familiar with each other. Being all clingy and touchy might throw them off, primarily when they aren’t used to it.
But two people working on one relationship can always provide a smooth transition at their own pace. It’s essential to be transparent and vocal in such starting stages to prevent misunderstanding. Don’t be too close-minded when talking and tackling issues that involve both of you.
Communicate well and often. That includes saying what you want while meaning it, direct but at the same time considerate. You can’t expect them to read your mind on your first date.
And before the day ends, if you want to feel something and spice up the day, you started? You can politely ask your partner for a hug or a peck for a goodbye kiss before the two of you part. If they reject, accept, and don’t forget to respect yourself and your date. Always ask before engaging to not make your partner uncomfortable.