Can You Survive in Long-distance Relationships Only by Texting?

Do you like listening to music? Have you ever heard of that one particular song from way back in 2011?

“You say good morning,
When it’s midnight,
Going out of my head,
Alone in this bed.”

Jet Lag by Simple Plan

Yes? A nostalgic and remarkable song. The lyrics themselves are good enough to take us onto a ride of emotions that we may be familiar with, the undeniable feeling of longing for something, someone so far from our reach. This particular feeling often coins with Long Distance Relationships‒ an unfamiliar yet exciting way of experiencing love. Most of the time, people would question those involved in an LDR. They would often get comments such as:

“How long have you been together?”
“Where and how did you guys meet?”
“Is it even real?”

It became customary to those involved in an LDR to answer such questions since not all are open to the idea of committing while your significant other’s a thousand miles away from you. But that’s the bottom line. It occurs, but God didn’t build all of us for that kind of relationship. It’s true that maintaining relationships are hard. Couples living so close to each other often have a hard time balancing themselves as partners and as an individual‒ and that doubles the struggle for LDR couples.

It’s as if the relationship requirements tripled when both of you are oceans apart. There are a lot of things to manage and things to compromise. But at the same time, it gives something odd yet promising because you know there will be something new to it every day. Despite that, everyone’s probably thinking: “Does it even work?” and to get a better grasp, listed up next are some of its pros and cons.

Many people in the LDR setup tend to feel lonely due to the adjustments of schedules and timezones. You usually don’t catch each other online, making it harder for one to tell their stories and updates. Unexpected changes in work hours or classes may also occur, leading to the coldness that may spark miscommunication.

One may start to develop issues regarding trust due to the lack of reassurance from the other party. Having great distance with the worries of possible cheating and temptations and the lack of knowledge with whom your partner interacts can develop insecurity. “Who are they with?” “Why isn’t he replying?” overthinking and jealousy might get the best of you. The comparison and finger-pointing might even occur, “she’s closer to you,” “he can easily be there for you.” and it has a great possibility of affecting and tainting your relationship after a long run.

Positivity and negativity reside in one coin; after seeing the worse, let us flip to the other.

Yes, LDR works just fine. A key to resolving these push and pull ideas regarding long-distance is how couples think about each other when they’re not together. A Bowling Green researcher, Laura Stafford, found that long-distance couples were more like to idealize one another since they receive lesser interaction with their partners than those who live together. Their imagination and emotions fill the gaps, most often positively and endearingly. Most likely, there are also lesser fights between LDR couples since they don’t have that much to fuss about‒ mainly because they don’t have that much time on their hands for them to argue and because they’d prefer to spend time together rather than bicker.

Admit it or not, society today is going left and right to conquer its thirst for physical intimacy‒ it’s scattered everywhere, especially on social media. People keep on insisting that sex is a vital part of a relationship. Although it is a part, it isn’t necessarily needed to be the most dominant force driving a relationship. There are numerous amount of LDR couples breaking up due to the lack of physical contact. Understandably, most of us have our love language expressed through physical affection and actions.

Long-distance relationship cherishes communications and building of trust which is fundamental to every healthy relationship. LDR shows how a person can love wholeheartedly without physicality, making their relationship smooth only on their emotional and mental connection with each other. In this aspect, they run by effort, time, consistency, and dynamic presence since they cannot be “there” physically for one another.

The distance between you and your partner challenges your individuality. While most couples rely on each other’s help and presence most of the time, LDR couples don’t. Although doing things together may be cute at first, there will be a downside to it. One will tend to become reliant and lenient to the other, making their room for growth and improvement shrink a little.

In a long-distance relationship, couples have the time to challenge themselves and support the other as an individual. They have a lot of space for them to explore, and they get the time to think about their own goals and persona. It drives them to be the best version of themselves, and it inspires them to work harder with the thought of being that someone that their partner deserves.

When you spend time with a person frequently, it can be easier to take them for granted. It’s so easy for others to wrap themselves in their schedules that they forget the essence of having each other. Meanwhile, distance teaches you to value time and the relationship you have with each other. You’ll find yourself smiling even when they regularly ask you how your day went or if they can call even just for ten minutes to checkup, or when they send you a playlist of songs they associate you to. You’ll start to value things and give good meanings to them more.

There is a saying that distance means nothing when someone means everything. In the end, the odds of a long-distance relationship working depends on the people involved in it. It requires a lot more effort and understanding, and if both are willing to compromise and endure, love can quickly turn the table for it to face their favor.